The Red Zone

If you're trying to lose body fat and you've already implemented the major recommendations I've listed here (eating small, frequent meal/snacks of nutrient-dense food; following a balanced, challenging and progressive fitness program) it may come down to how you eat in the last third of the waking day.

What makes the last third of the day so important? Well, the closer you get to bed time, the more influence the calories you take in will have on your daily equation (in versus out or eaten versus burned). So, while it's not that easy to create a 500 calorie shortfall (which equals a pound of fat loss each week), it's very easy to consume 1500 calories too many (a few slices of pizza and a couple of beers will more than cover that margin.)

If you did the quick math in your head just now, you know that three days of being good can net out with one "whoops!" day to leave you with a big goose egg for the four days - no weight lost after more than half a week of being on your best nutrition behavior!

What's frustrating for many people who are working out hard and eating pretty clean and light during the week, but get a little crazy over the weekend, is that you can easily counteract the effects of the week with a weekend of indulgence.

I tell my clients to have a mid or late afternoon snack with fat, fiber and protein (fruit and a cheese stick or small hand full of nuts are good choices), then have a big glass of water before dinner and keep dinner a very small portion of 2/3 veggies and 1/3 lean protein. The no more calories after dinner!

If you do that, you'll start to see that stubborn fat finally hit the road.

New Pilates Class in Livermore!

Check it out... http://tvtevents.blogspot.com/2009/08/new-pilates-class-at-cosmic-dog-yoga.html

Is it a snack? A meal? Who cares?

This is one of mine and my kids' favorite "modular meals":

Stacey's Garlic Paremsan Baked Pita Chips dipped in

Knudsen Lowfat Cotttage Cheese

plus

Broccoli and Cauliflower tips dipped in Sabra Garlic Hummus

It's got it all - protein, vitamins, minerals and fiber. And it's very low in calories.

Add some nuts or cheese and fresh berries and it's perfect for a sunset park picnic!

Darell's Victory

Earlier this year, I got the opportunity to work with a company conducting a three-month employee weight loss contest. There was lots of enthusiasm and a surprisingly high percentage of employees (nearly 70%) signed up at the start. I visited the site weekly with nutrition and healthy lifestyle small group coaching and led weekly exercises classes. I also offered e-mail support for those who had questions along the way.

Darell (pictured above before [left] and after [right] the contest), was the one person who took advantage of everything. He showed up for all the classes. He implemented the eating changes. He asked additional questions about how to improve his workouts. He ran changes by me that he'd made to some of his eating practices for my feedback. And because his company subsidized my services, he didn't spend a dime on that guidance.

How did Darell do in the contest? He won - and by a pretty fair margin. He lost nearly a fifth of his body weight in fat and six inches in his waist in three short months.

So what makes Darell different than so many people out there who try and fail to lose weight over and over and then finally give up altogether? Well, I'd like to believe that the guidance and motivation I provided were critical elements in the mix. But that was available to all the employees.

Darell simply believed it was important enough to devote his time and energy to this effort. He wanted a better life now, while he was still young. He wanted to serve as an example to his friends, his family and his coworkers. But most of all, he just wanted to have control over his health and wellness.

I was glad to be a part of that.

Reps? Sets? Loads? Who Cares?

Not me.

Well, let me be more specific: reps, sets and loads, while important tools in the strength training toolbox, are simply that - tools. They do not define the ultimate goal. They are pathways you can use, but they shouldn't be your main focus.

What do I mean by that? Here's the strength training equation:

Relative intensity x time under load = muscle training productivity

That means that there is some combination of a percentage of maximum load the muscle can bear and the total time the muscle will bear that load that is optimal for training either for muscle power, muscle endurance, or some combination of the two.

So, while a jockey or tennis player might pick a load that he/she can handle for 20+ reps but stay a few to several reps short of complete muscle exhaustion, a sumo wrestler or football lineman might work with a load he can only press a handful of times. They have different purposes so they approach strength training differently. And there's basically an inverse relationship between how much weight you lift and how many times you can lift the load. So each of those variables (load vs. number of reps in a single set) has the nice quality of pretty much defining the other.

As for volume (number of sets), the more you do, the more aggressively you'll be training the muscles. There's a corresponding growth/strength increase relationship with volume, to a certain point of diminishing returns. Over training is a real pitfall to avoid for bodybuilders and power lifters, but that's the subject of another post.

The bottom line is that if you go into the gym planning to do three sets of 10 reps, you're missing the point. Do you want to get stronger, bigger or have more muscle stamina? Both?

Then pick a load you with which you can do somewhere between 8-12 reps, and go as close to failure (exhaustion) on each set, for one to three sets per muscle group. If you're executing with consistently excellent quality, each set should have a drop off of at least a few reps.

And if you're really hitting the muscles hard, one or two sets should be plenty.

A Challenge to Face the Truth

One thing that I know saddens and frustrates a lot of trainers is their clients' unwillingness, in some cases, to be honest with themselves. There are predictable excuses for many people that have pretty obvious translations. Here are a few:

"Diets don't work for me" = (I don't have the discipline to consistently eat healthfully)
"I don't have time to exercise" = (Other things I enjoy doing are more important to me.)
"I'm too old for that stuff" = (I've earned the right to blow off what I don't really want to do.)

But these avoidance tactics actually just make us feel even less powerful, because deep down we know that a challenge is the only way to grow, and we were built to grow. Denial and self delusion are just little tricks we need to play on ourselves because we're too smart to ignore an unpleasant but controllable situation without them.

Sounds harsh? Here's a direct challenge:

If your waist is much more than half your height in inches, you are probably at least overweight, if not obese. If you're completely honest with yourself, you probably have a good idea about roughly how much weight you could stand to lose. If it's around 30 lbs, try this - get a couple of long pillow cases, and put two gallons of water in each. Tie off the ends to make a handle behind the knot, and find a nice long hill or a few flights of stairs. Go up and down a few times, hoisting a weighted-down pillow case over each shoulder.

That's how much harder on your heart another 30 lbs would be. Now imagine how losing the thirty you currently have to spare would feel. And imagine how much less of a load you'd put on that heart you've grown so fond of (and dependent on).

Isn't it time to start being honest with yourself?


Check your own body fat using the online calculator listed third on the "Cool Tools" section of this page: http://trivalleywellness.com/hiddengems.html

Fitness Checklist

I like lists. They clarify and reduce waste (time and energy). This one can also reduce your waist. Take a look and see what you're doing from the list below, and what you're not. The missing items could be your bridge to success:

1. Drink enough water to keep your urine pale to clear.

2. Get in up to five hours of cardio each week (lower intensity) or at least 90 minutes at very high intensity.

3. Strength train with large, full body compound (moving at more than one joint at a time) movements, whenever possible, 2-3 times a week.

4. Challenge yourself so that when you finish a workout, you couldn't repeat it.

5. Eat more veggies than any other single food group.

6. Get .5 - .75 grams of protein per pound of ideal body weight each day.

7. Spread that protein as evenly as possible across the waking day.

8. Get 6.5 - 8 hours a sleep each night.

9. Make sure your calories are as rich as possible in protein, vitamins, minerals and fiber.

10. Be honest with yourself about how you live and what you expect your body to look, feel and perform like as a result.

Work vs. Facebook (and other distractions)

Ok. I admit it. While I'm not exactly hooked on Facebook, it has become a bit of a habit. Currently I'm on it more often than I floss but not as often as I use the bathroom. I think I'm safe from an immediate intervention, don't you?

So my big plan to catapult my new website, http://www.trivalleywellness.com/ to astronomically high daily traffic has been (temporarily) stymied. But not my resolve to make it a long term success. In fact, because of the energy that I get from re-connecting with old friends, I'm actually more devoted than ever to making the website a success. Starting another bar band (after swearing I was too old to do that again) has had a similar effect. I'm having a blast and I want to harness that passion and direct it back toward enriching the content and promoting the website more aggressively.

Since I work for myself, I spend almost all my time either with clients, teaching Pilates classes or with my (two younger) kids. So the website development is slow, even though it's central to my long-term business growth plan.

But my kids will only be this young once. And I'm sure this is definitely the last bar band I'm going to be in (probably). And I'm sure this Facebook thing will peter out to a manageable level soon, don't you think?

Meanwhile, I'm happy, energetic and feeling inspired. Good thing I don't have a boss (or a three month review coming up...)

Weight Lifting with Still Sore Muscles?

Ever wonder whether you should strength train when your muscles are fatigued from a previous workout? Not sure what the protocol is? Simple - don't. Here's why: The soreness/fatigue in your muscles is a signal your body is sending you that the muscles you broke down in your previous workout have not been completely rebuilt.

And that's the purpose of the workout in the first place - to rebuild the muscles with slightly greater capacity than they had before. Hitting them again before the fatigue or soreness has left interrupts that critical process. So your next workout is not only not as pleasant, but it's not particularly productive either.

So wait another day or two. It's for the best.

Jazz Up Your Salads and Veggies

Ever tried these? They are simply roasted and seasoned, thinly sliced almonds. Years ago one of my clients mentioned she had made string beans with toasted almond slivers the night before, and teh image stuck in my head. Since I'm pretty lazy, I noticed these in the produce section the next shopping trip and opicked them up.

Now I use them in salads, on top of all my veggies, and even sometimes in cottage cheese for a nice taste/texture kick.

Give them a try!

Oil and Water

Don't do what doesn't work for you.

How do you know what doesn't work? Is it difficult? Is it painful? Is it a hassle? No, none of these qualities, in my mind, qualifies as a deal-breaker. Exercise is hard (especially at first), eating a disciplined, healthful diet may seem uncomfortable until you realize the benefits of increased energy and a leaner body. And meditation can seem boring and unnerving if you have trouble (as most do) quieting the mind and settling in for the longer haul.

It's more a question of "right fit". Are you better for it? Do you experience positive growth as a result of your involvement or actions?

Maybe the job or the relationship you're in at the moment is not the right fit for you. Maybe your lifestyle is easy but draining or dragging your spirit (and your body) down slowly. Most of us experience one or more of these situations at least once in our lives.


My advice? Learn as much as you can from the situation. Don't judge it (the person, the relationship, the job or the activity). Perhaps it's just not right for you.


If you move on, then you'll be able to do it with a sense of peace.


There's no subsitute for that.

Stiff Back in the A.M.?

Try this:

Before you get out of bed, push back the covers and pull one knee gently but firmly into your torso, exhaling completely on the pull. Then repeat on the other side. Then pull both knees in and hold for 10 seconds, breathing normally but deeply. Next, lying on your back and with your arms at your sides, roll your shoulder blades and upper back off the mattress, sliding your palms forward across the mattress top and gently return to a relaxed supine (belly up) position. Repeat four times. Then get up normally.

This should give you a chance to gradually increase the circulation in your back muscles while expanding your mobility before you raise your torso off the mattress, which can be hard on the back when your body is not warmed up.

Should You Work Out When You're Sick?

As a general rule, no. If you have a virus or bacterial infection and are at the very tail end of it with at least 90% energy, strength training at less than full intensity might be OK. Use your judgment and listen to your body. But aerobics and oxygen-intense cross training should wait. You won't suffer by waiting another day or two. And your body shouldn't have to decide whether to focus on recuperating fully from an illness or rebuilding itself after a tough workout. If it has to, it will do both poorly.

Better off playing it safe and making sure you're 100% before heading back to the gym (or the court, road, the trail...)

Food Diary: Day 7

7:30am - Trader Joe's Hi Protein Kashi cereal with nonfat milk, nuts and raisins

8:15am - Non fat latte

11:45am - Chicken veggie soup, 2 power pancakes

2:00pm - 4 skinny slices of prime rib (fat trimmed)

2:30pm - Broccoli with hummus

4:45pm - 1 slice whole wheat french toast (batch made with 1 yolk/3 whites) w/no topping

6:30pm - Trader Joe's banana chips (1 cup)

7:00pm - Low fat cottage cheese with 4 baked veggie flax seed chips
No workout today

Food Diary: Day 6

5:30am - 5.5 oz. V8, 2 tbsp of Knudsen low fat cottage cheese, handful of Quaker Oat Squares

7:30am - Non fat decaf latte, 2 power pancakes, a few grapes, small handful of trail mix

9:30am - 1 power pancake, grapes

11:15am - Handful of cheerios, 2 big strawberries, 2 swallows of nonfat milk

1:15pm - V8, protein bar, chicken veggie soup

3:30pm - Tangerine, handful Quaker Oat Squares

5:30pm - Spinach salad with carrots, tomatoes and 4 skinny slices of prime rib

6:00pm - No sugar added fudgecicle

Did a short strength workout and taught a Pilates class with band resistance work

Food Diary: Day 5

5:30am - 6 oz. V8

7:00am - Kashi high protein cereal w/strawberries, bananas and mixed nuts

9:30am - Non fat mint mocha (1 tbsp of Trader Joe's mint cocoa)

Noon - Anderson's split pea soup, 3 slices of Trader Joe's prime rib

12:30pm - Trader Joe's "Everything" pretzel slims
2:30pm - 2 Power pancakes http://45yearold6pack.blogspot.com/2008/03/flat-belly-recipe-power-pancakes.html

3:30pm - Protein bar

4:30pm - Chicken veggie soup http://45yearold6pack.blogspot.com/2007/12/savory-soup-and-simple-too.html


Short, high-intensity cardio workout

Food Diary: Day 4

7:45am - 6 oz. V8, Greek yogurt w/honey, high-protein Kashi and trail mix

10:15am - Low fat latte

11:45am - 4 Chicken pineapple meat balls and Soy Crisps

12:15pm - Veggie sushi

1:00pm - Trader Joe's "Everything" pretzel slims

4:30pm - Strawberries and banana w/Greek yogurt and honey

7:15pm - Broccoli with hummus, 1/4 chicken breast w/feta and spinach, 4 grapes, 1/4 tsp soy nut butter

No workout but taught corporate Pilates class w/strength training

Food Diary: Day 3

5:45am - 2 swallows V8, 3 swallows non fat milk

7:15am - banana

7:30am - 2 pieces french toast (3 white-to-1 yolk ratio) with low fat Greek yogurt & honey, a handful of grapes and 2 tbsp soy nut butter

9:15am - tangerine

10:00am - Non fat latte (decaf)

12:15pm - Korean noodles with beef, carrots, mushrooms, cabbage and bean sprouts

3:30pm - snap peas, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, almonds and grapes (2 cups total)

4:30pm - Clif Z-Bar

6:40pm 1/2 chicken breast with feta and sauteed spinach

No workout but I taught a semi-private Pilates class at noon and worked with a boxing student (mitt drills) in the evening

Food Diary: Day 2

5:15am - 2 swallows V8, 3 swallows milk

7:30am - Nonfat latte, 1 cup Quaker Oat Squares, 1/2 banana, 2 tbsp mixed nuts

10:00am - 4 Chicken pineapple meatballs (Costco)

11:00am - Broccoli and cauliflower w/tomato basil hummus

1:30pm - 4 Chicken pineapple meatballs, 6 each of snap peas, cherry tomatoes and baby carrots
1 stick of string cheese

2:15pm - 1 cup Trader Joe's baked flax seed chips

3:00pm - 2 tangerines, 1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt with honey, handful of trail mix

4:45pm - 1 cup eggs with feta cheese, spinach and sun-dried tomatoes

8:15pm - herb tea

Activity - Today I hit the heavy bag, strength trained and taught a semi-private Pilates class

My Food Diary, Day 1

For the next seven days, I'll be posting what I eat and let you know what my activity level is like. Generally, I try to observe these eating rules:

1. Consume a nutrient-dense selection of food, emphasizing veggies and lean proteins but including whole grains, fruits and a small amount of mostly heart-healthy fats.

2. Spread my calories and protein evenly over the day with small, frequent meals.

3. Minimize empty calories.

4. Eat grains earlier in the day.

5. Taper calories in the evening.

6. Drink water when I'm thirsty (between, not during meals and snacks).

My calorie requirements, because of my activity level ( workout frequency and intensity) are around 2,500 - 3,000, so this would be too much food for most people. But there are some good examples for healthful choices. You can always scale back the volume to suit your particular needs. Here's how Sunday, April 20 went (total amounts are usually 1-2 fist sized portions):

8:00am - V8 juice, oatmeal (made with nonfat milk, not water) with raisins, mixed nuts
10:00am - Greek yogurt w/honey and trail mix
11:30am - Low fat Cheeze-Its (I know!)
12:30pm - Low fat cottage cheese w/fresh mixed berries
2:00pm - Non fat latte and a tofu oat cake
4:00pm - herb tea
5:30pm - Pan-fried tuna steak encrusted with crushed wasabi peanuts and salad
7:30pm - Herb tea

No workout out today but I walked a couple of miles in the morning.

Fitness Myths vs. Realities

There is a concept in Zen Buddhism known as "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind". The basic idea is that in order to truly absorb new information, we must release our long-held preconceptions. But that's not so easy to do when you've been bombarded by misinformation so often and for so long that the mere familiarity with garbage, masquerading as fact, creates belief. I can't think of a single area of knowledge more fraught with erroneous assumptions than exercise and nutrition. In fact, multi-billion dollar industries are dedicated to fattening their wallets while promising to make you (instead of just your bank account) lighter. But, if you are willing to put what you may accept as fact aside for a moment, I'd like to create a little bit of enlightenment that won't require you to take out your credit card.

Over the next three posts, I'll explore a few of the most popular (and incorrect) widely-held beliefs about how to get lean. And then, the truth:

1. Aerobic Exercise Makes you Lean.
Not exactly. While a few hours of cardio at a moderate or higher level of intensity each week will certainly burn several hundred calories, you can easily eat enough calories to compensate for that and stay fat. There are overweight marathon runners and very lean people who never exercise. It's not so much differences in genetics or even exercise habits alone, but whether they create a calorie deficit day after day or build and maintain a calorie surplus. It's actually much easier to create a 500 daily calorie deficit through dietary discipline than by exercising endlessly and not controlling nutrient density and total food intake. That's what bodybuilders do to get very lean with a minimal amount of cardio (to avoid diminishing muscle mass). You can do it too.

Passion and Purpose

At a birthday party for a common friend this past Saturday night, I had a conversation with a fascinating woman. She's a very talented photographer here in the SF bay area and, like many artists, has a unique and provocative way of expressing herself through her work.

Our conversation covered several topics (how we managed to have a sustained exchange over the blaring, pulsating dance music the DJ was generating was a miracle in itself) but centered on a particularly engaging common experience - passion for our work.

You can always spot the person who is deeply invested in what they do. It's never a means to a typical end, like making a bunch of money or achieving some externally defined level of acclaim. The electricity and the vitality is in the process. Often, it's apparent in the resulting product of their work. They light up when they talk about it, and they're exciting and compelling to be around.

We can find that passion in not only our work, but also in our relationships, and in our self care rituals, whether that be exercise and eating, a yoga practice, or simply a daily ritual of walking and enjoying our surroundings. With the passion comes the purpose. You just have to find your source. Above is a picture of me enjoying one of my favorite activities with one of my favorite people.

A good friend of mine (the one in the picture above) once told me that there are basically two types of people: radiators and drains.

Meet a radiator: http://www.kijalucas.com/

Who Cares What Others Think?

Over the years I've begun to run into several former clients here in my town and surrounding areas. Often they just greet me like an old friend, but sometimes I note a sheepish, somewhat guilty demeanor, or even an awkward admission of "falling off the (exercise) wagon and a rush of excuses about why that's the case. It's as though they feel responsible to me to keep up a certain level of fitness or body fat level.

I've even had the odd experience of running into a fellow trainer who was also a fitness model, competitor and former ESPN fitness event show host at the local market and hear her assure me that the frozen pizza in her cart was for her son's upcoming birthday party.

Was it something I said?

Let me assure your that any exercise professional worth your time is in it for one reason: to provide expertise and support to you in reaching your health and fitness goals. We don't feel primarily responsible for your success (although we do celebrate your achievements with you) and we don't beat ourselves up if you don't become our prized and most accomplished pupil.

Try to remember you're in it for yourself, and you should be.

And like someones mother once said:

"Don't worry so much about what other people are thinking about you. Because they aren't."

Listen to Your Body's Signals

Depending on the type, intensity and duration of the session, the body responds to exercise in very distinctive ways. You can become very skilled at reading those signals. It's a good idea if you're taking your fitness program seriously, because it gives you the power to manage your program much more effectively. Here are a few "feelings" to watch for with different aspects of fitness training:

1. Cardio

Lungs on fire = too intense to sustain for more than a minute. This is fine to include in short, spaced increments for very fit, regular exercisers, but is generally too aggressive a training style for new exercisers.

Modestly accelerated breathing and a feeling you could keep going for a couple of hours is great for general health but won't significantly improve your stamina.

Deep, rapid breathing but a steady, tolerable level of exertion that can be sustained for 20-40 minutes is perfect for most exercisers looking to slowly build their heart and lung capacity and burn a decent amount of body fat.

2. Strength

Loads that make controlled, fluid movements very difficult and exhaust the muscles in six or fewer repetitions is pure power training, and dangerous for inexperienced weight lifters. This usually has no "burn" associated with it - it's characterized by a rapid loss of force capacity during a short set.

Resistance levels that are easy to move for the first six or eight repetitions, and are only moderately difficult to move past 12-15 reps is strictly for muscle endurance improvement. This is good for first time lifters and athletes who want to avoid even moderate power or muscle girth gains. This is the level at which the burning sensation is most pronounced if you go deep into muscle endurance capacity. Intolerance of the increasing burn is usually the limiting factor - not loss of muscle power.

Weight that becomes very difficult to move in the 8-12 repetition range strikes a nice balance between muscle endurance and strength improvements. This is the range where most people choose to train and has the widest application for functional improvements (day-to-day, sports and recreational activities.)

3. Flexibility training can be static, held positions; or it can be yoga or Pilates, or even pre-event dynamic/ballistic or mildly explosive stretching. It's best to get direction from a qualified fitness professional (e-mail about specifics on this) about what mode or combinations of modes are best for you based on your profile and fitness goals. But, as a general rule, caution is a good idea here. It's much better to be less aggressive with stretch loads on the muscles and tendons (say 60 - 75% of comfort tolerance) and get in longer stretches or more rounds of stretching, than risk injuring the joint and surrounding connective tissue. A good rule of thumb is to be careful to avoid a load that makes the tissue tense back up in defense against the load. You should be able to relax and breathe deeply into the stretch without difficulty.

Learning to read your body's signals will help you get the most out of your program, and you will enjoy the process of training much more as well as you sharpen that critical skill.

My Favorite Workout Music

While I'm strength training (lifting weights): Classical, Linkin Park, White Stripes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAOTCtW9v0M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbMZY3NkZok

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRDi67G0Siw

While I hit the heavy bag: Biggie Smalls, House of Pain, Eminem

(warning - some potty mouth stuff for those who are sensitive...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjflFJcAWL0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obXsstZWDz8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPSYzeiXb88

While I do Pilates: Brandi Carlisle, Eva Cassidy, Adele

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq-ZmAYLeB8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUwTdqPkluY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz7vGW2_5c0

While I'm playing racquetball with me wife:

The sound of the ball whizzing by her racquet (I know, I can be a jerk - but she loves beating me even more)

Another "Well" to Be

I'm a big fan of word play - especially double entendres. My dad was a shameless pun maker, so I guess every generation does just a little bit better. Or not.

Anyway, I was thinking about the word "well" in it's traditional sense, which is ambiguous enough. But then it occurred to me that what many of us sometimes forget is that we have vast reserves of strength, energy, stillness, or whatever you consider critical elements of wellness. How do I know that? Because every aspect of wellness provides with it growth capacity. Muscle power, stamina, flexibility, vitality, emotional well-being, you name it - it can be improved upon. So, in a sense, we have a deep well of wellness available to us.

And the irony is that the best way to tap into that well, is through struggle or challenge. Any test of your capacity is bound to provide the most efficient route to expanding that capacity. Want to deal better with death? Help someone through the final stages of their life. Want to learn patience? Try child-rearing. Want to transcend the sense of being owned by your job? Start your own business. Want to learn how to be a better partner in a relationship? Be the best person you can be and accept the other person for who they are.

How many times can you go to the well?

How high can you count?

Much Respect (for yourself and others)

Maybe there are a few perks to getting older.

I had a conversation with someone today that was not, I suspect one either of us was particularly looking forward to. And I'm not sure either of us ended the conversation feeling like we got much accomplished other than a slightly better understanding of each others' position, and, in turn, how different they were. Certainly neither of us convinced the other of the wisdom of seeing it "our" way. And at times, the exchanges were a little tense, even bordering on adversarial.

But I walked away from it with a pretty good feeling. Here's why:

1. It wasn't really important that either of us was "right".

2. We needed to clarify our intentions going forward to determine what our arrangement would be in the future, and we did that.

3. What might have become an unnecessarily terse discussion, perhaps escalating to a level that we'd want to permanently end our association never happened.

4. I think we both walked away from it feeling proud of ourselves about how we each handled it.

So that's pretty good. I don't know that preserving dignity and respect for the other (and ultimately, myself, since we're all connected) would have been my primary concern five years ago, or even two. Even if it was, I don't think I would have had the discipline to make sure that happened. Releasing the ego-driven defensive urges as they surfaced was surprisingly easy once I made the commitment in my mind to do that.

As a result, I think I'll sleep a little better tonight than I might have if I'd handled it differently.

And you know, as we get older, a good night's sleep is all the more important.

I Love Veggies (but maybe you don't...)

This morning I stumbled across a great set of suggestions for those who aren't the biggest fans of the most underrated food group. I practice many of these little tricks and have recommended others like eating raw veggies with hummus or dumping extra frozen veggies into canned soups to my clients. But this may be the most comprehensive list of creative ideas for working the vitamin, mineral and fiber packed powerhouses into your menu:

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/eat-your-vegetables-15-tips-for-veggie-haters

Stretching and Warming Up Are Different

Have you ever watched an athlete bounce through a pre-event stretch series and then stop suddenly and reposition as if they had tweaked a nagging injury?

Some clients I work with remind me that there are still some very pervasive and stubborn fitness myths circulating out there. One is that stretching and warming up are (or can be) considered the same thing. They aren't and they can't. Why? They are two entirely different processes, and they accomplish different things.

Stretching is meant to elongate and keep supple the muscle-tendon chain. Tendons attach muscles to bones and are more rigid than the tissue they anchor. They need more deliberate, controlled and consistent loads to become lengthened and more pliable (significantly diminishing their own, and the muscles' risk of injury.)

That's where warming up comes in - before the stretching.

Warming up is characterized by large, flowing movements, progressively increasing heart rate, deeper more rapid breathing, increasing body core temperature and more loose, fluid range of motion at the joints. It's basically an aerobic activity that starts out light and slowly moves to moderate intensity that can last a few to several minutes. That's the best way to prepare the body for more aggressive loads and motion coming up later.

The absolute best time to stretch is at the tail end of a workout, although stretching intermittently during the workout (or after each set with strength training) is great in addition to (but not as a substitute for) the end-of-the-workout stretch.

Remember that the best way to warm up is to actually heat up your body with cardio. And the best way to stretch is when your muscles and connective tissue, like taffy at the boardwalk, are already warm.

Releasing Our Attachment to Outcome

The first year or two I was in business was enlightening, but also frustrating and, at times, more than a little disappointing. After investing emotionally in the naive idea that I could convert nearly all my clients to fit, lean, wellness-minded faithful, I was often slapped with a cold reality:

My clients were only as successful as their level of commitment to our stated objective, the degree to which they embraced the principles I taught them and their willingness to comply with the actions I recommended that embodied those principles. And then I finally realized that it wasn't just naive of me to expect that of them, it was downright arrogant!

Who was I to expect that in one to three hours a week I could completely reprogram their basic philosophy and retool many of their daily habits if they weren't already interested in a dramatic lifestyle change? Foolish mortal!

As time has passed, I have learned that those who benefit the most from what I try to offer are those who are truly ready and committed at a deep level to undergoing a fundamental change. Athletes are usually tremendously open and effective students, but many former couch potatoes who are just darned good and ready for a dramatic improvement in their wellness and body condition often astound me as well with their determination and corresponding success (see the home page of my training website for a married couple who are poster children for these invaluable qualities: http://www.trivalleytrainer.com/ )

I currently have two clients who, I know, if they could just see their future possibilities as clearly as I do (both with and without a full commitment to fitness and healthful eating), the stark contrast between their current respective situations and their potential would create a defining moment of permanent transition. And their resulting successes would not only improve their chances to be in their loved ones' lives for decades to come, but they would also serve as a more inspiring figures than I could ever hope to represent.

But my job is not to fantasize, but to keep the faith. Not to preach, but to persist. Not to take their level of participation personally, but to give everything I have to the process and know that's enough.

I started this blog hoping to help many more people than I can have personal contact with on a daily basis, and many of you have written to me to let me know I have. Many of my current and past clients have done the same. I am deeply grateful for that.

So, perhaps we should all know that what we bring to a situation is much more important than what comes of it, and leave the rest in God's hands, where it belongs.

Three Day's at TJ's

Dedicated fitness enthusiasts, especially those who work hard to maintain optimal performance in the gym (on the field, the court) while maintaining a lean body, know that there is no more important element in the equation than the right "fuel". That's how I feel.

If I had to choose one place to shop for food for the rest of my life, it would have to be Trader Joe's. Why? Because they have a wide variety of delicious, nutrient-rich foods to choose from and because it's very reasonably priced.So, to give you an idea of how I might shop for a few days' worth of meals and snacks, I put together a quick menu below. It focuses on the maximum volume, variety and balance of vitamins, minerals, fiber, protein, and last, but certainly not least, taste.

Day 1

Breakfast, 7:00AM:Egg scramble (one yolk and three whites) with frozen chopped spinach and sun-dried tomatoes topped with crumbled Feta cheese

Mid-AM Snack, 9:45AM:

Pocket salad (snap peas, baby carrots and grape tomatoes)Lunch, Noon:Wrap with honey roasted sliced turkey, mixed baby greens, grated carrots and tomato basil hummus

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:30PM:

Smoothie with TJs 2% Greek yogurt, 1/2 frozen banana, frozen blackberries and mangoes and non-fat milk

Dinner, 6:00pm:Grilled Buffalo Burger on 1/2 whole wheat bun with tomato and greens

Day 2

Breakfast, 6:45AM:

Kashi Go-Lean Cereal topped w/mixed nut and fruit trail mix in non-fat milk

Mid-AM Snack, 9:30AM:

Raw broccoli and cauliflower dipped in Mediterranean hummus

Lunch, 12:15PM:

Home made pasta salad with whole wheat Rotini, frozen chopped spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, Ceasar variety "Just Chicken" and Balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:30PM:

Granny Smith apple and a cheddar cheese stick

Dinner, 6:15pm:

Spinach Pie

Day 3

Breakfast, 7:15AM:

Kashi Go-Lean Cereal topped w/mixed nut and fruit trail mix in non-fat milk

Mid-AM Snack, 10:00AM:

Leftover Spinach Pie

Lunch, Noon:

TJ's California Roll sushi and seaweed salad

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:45PM:

Bartlet pear and crunchy soy nut butter

Dinner, 6:00pm:

Home made veggie soup (base is 1/2 veggie broth; 1/2 roasted garlic pasta sauce; add frozen chopped spinach, frozen mixed veggies and chicken mango sausage)

A "Well" of Friendship

Since I started this website (TriValleyWellness.com), I've been amazed at the wonderful people I've met who share my vision of creating a robust and growing true wellness community. I define a community as a group of people with shared interests or values, who look out for each other and want to help each other realize their potential and serve a greater purpose.

But developing the website and the supporting resources has also allowed me to reconnect and expand relationships I've had for some time as well. Today I had lunch with a terrific guy I met several years ago when we were involved in a non-profit organization that never got off the ground, although we've stayed in touch over the years. His history is not that different from mine - he was in the corporate world for a long time before deciding to start his own business. That prompted him to open the Fleet Feet Sports store in Pleasanton. After a successful run (no pun intended) he started a race event timing and management company and now handles over 50 events a year, primarily in the SF bay area. His success is a testament to his passion, his brains, his work ethic and his extraordinary ability to build and maintain relationships.

If there's one aspect of wellness that doesn't get the attention it deserves, it's the importance of building strong, healthy relationships. If you are committed to a life of purpose and vitality, there are few more important areas to address in your life.

Everything of any real meaning begins here. So think about someone you haven't seen in a while who you might be able to help out today, just to make their life a little bit easier or more rewarding, or perhaps just to brighten up their day.

The real winner will be you.

* * * * * * * * * *

Mark Aiton is the principal and founder of "On Your Mark Events". Check out his website (and participate in one of his events!) at: http://www.onyourmarkevents.com/

A Time for Faith

Often we start an exercise and healthful eating program (or any difficult or scary endeavor - especially life-changing ones) with the best intentions, hoping that it will get easier as we move further into it. We have an intrinsic sense that it's the right thing for us, and so, once we begin, it should become easier and more natural.

Then it gets really hard.

Soon, our conviction begins to waver, we start to rationalize with ourselves that we may not really be that convinced what we're doing is worth the effort, time and discomfort, or maybe even that it's necessary at all.

That's when faith is most important.

Every false start in your life was an important message that you weren't ready yet. But if you know deep within yourself that you deserve to feel better, be stronger, more resilient and have a better quality of life, you'll keep trying, again and again. At some point you need to take a leap of faith. No significant growth comes without risk or discomfort. Changing your lifestyle dramatically can be very intimidating. You're challenging yourself to give up your identification with everything that no longer works for you, but is oh so familiar. And in that familiarity is a comfort.

But ask yourself if that comfort helps you to be true to yourself - your best self.

When you are ready to ask yourself that question, sincerely and with courage, you'll find that faith. It might be just a spark, but it will be enough.

The time for faith is when you need it the most. And only you can give that to yourself. There is no greater gift.

Remain Calm

This morning I returned home from my folks' house with my wife and two younger kids (8 and 4), after staying over night there. We had decided to drive up (a little over three hours) to surprise my mother on her birthday. She was thrilled and we all had a great time, but she wasn't the only one in for a surprise.

We had asked my 19 year old, who is generally very responsible and a great influence on his younger sibs, to feed the dogs and keep an eye on the house. When we returned, our house looked like it had hosted a small frat party. There were beer cans stacked on the counter and it smelled something like a field had been burned, but not exactly like that.

I was not a happy camper.

As my little ones headed straight for their rooms and we gave my son and his friends a chance to express clean (and my wife had a surprisingly restrained but clear and penetrating conversation with him), I went to the store to get some scented candles. This was as much to cool down as to get the smell out of the house.

By the time I returned, he was having a tearful (both of them) and deeply apologetic conversation with my younger son (who, by the way busted him when my wife told him "people make mistakes" and he, quite properly corrected her with "It's not a mistake if he did it on purpose." She corrected her statement telling him that people make bad choices and then have the obligation to correct the effects of those choices.)

I had clients to work with and then band practice scheduled. By the time I was done, I had not only gotten some perspective, but I saw that he had done all that he could to repair the damage with the rest of the family, especially my younger son.

We are still going to have a conversation about this later.

But I'm glad I didn't have it right away. We're both better off (as is the relationship) because I had the opportunity to remain calm before speaking, and because I did.

And so is my blood pressure.

Your Body Loves You (Do You Love it Back?)

Here's a quick test to see if you have body image issues:

Do you have a body?

If you answered yes, chances are you share the practically universal condition of having some form of frustration, anxiety or disappointment about the stuff inside your skin. But here's the weird part - if nearly everybody does have some issue with their body, and the problems all stem from some unfavorable comparison to other people's bodies, who wins?

Even though it may seem irrational when it's laid out like that, it's a hard concept to release. And then we often compound the problem by taking the functions of the body (which are vastly more important than what it looks like) for granted, and ignoring the body's need to be used and taken care of. We always think it will be around when we get to it. It may be, but it won't always be in the "ready-to-roll" state we expect it to be as the years pass unnoticed.

So why am I talking about this?

I don't just want you to eat better and exercise for a few days or weeks. I want you to WANT to do it, and for the right reasons. Then you'll do it for the rest of your life. Your body will help make your life so much better if you spend a little time thinking about (and acting on) it's needs. And if you do, you'll look great too - what a deal!

Don't you think it's time to stop being frustrated with your body? You're not mad at the dog for getting mangy if you never bath or brush him, right? We don't curse the grass for continuing to grow if we're forget to cut it for a few weeks, do we?

Think about the body of a dancer, a surfer or a gymnast. They don't do the work to have great looking physiques. They do the work because they know how the body can perform with the right treatment. But they look awesome too!

A little bit of that attitude goes a long way in creating a new body that you're truly going to love. And it will love you back by delivering the goods.

Aren't you excited about what you're both going to accomplish together?

Drink Water Before (but not during) Meals

One of the best things you can do to both minimize overeating and make sure you're properly hydrated (critical for optimal fat burning) is to stop drinking caloric beverages during your meals. Instead, start drinking a full glass of water immediately before the meal.

Why drop the with-meal beverages? Because your body produces saliva in the exact right amount and the exact right speed based on whatever your current hydration level is. That assures that we take the time we need to get the food down and get to the next bite. But we're smarter than our bodies, right? Not to mention busier. Who has time to take small bites and wait between bites for each previous one to make it into our stomachs gracefully? Isn't it a much better solution to "cannonball" those big bites and gobble up as much food as possible before your body has a chance to register a sense of fullness?

And wouldn't it be ideal if you could wash those calories down quickly with a beverage that has some additional calories of its own? That way, a 400-500 calorie meal that might otherwise take 20 minutes to eat could be more like 700 or 800 calories (or more) and we could have it out of our way in about seven or eight minutes.

Hmm, wait a second...

In our increasingly more, better, faster society, sometimes it's a mark of progress. Sometimes not so much.

A glass of water BEFORE the meal will do just the opposite, helping you slow down the speed of your ingestion and feel full earlier. Follow this simple rule and you'll not only start getting leaner, but you'll feel better throughout the night.

A Matter of Perspective

If you had an appointment scheduled with a friend, or even a stranger, you would do everything within reason to keep it, wouldn't you? And you would be at least irritated, if not down right angry, if they didn't bother to show.


So why do you plan to work out or eat "clean" one day and then just blow it off? Aren't you worthy of your own respect?



And what if you could do something to help someone else live with more energy and vitality, perhaps even lengthening their life, but certainly enhancing the quality of it? How about a loved one, a friend or even someone you never met. You would do it, right?



What makes you less deserving of this commitment and effort?



*************************************************
"Wisdom is the power to perceive the best ends to aim for and the best means for reaching those ends. It is the power to perceive the right thing to do. The man who is strong enough to know the right thing to do, who is good enough to do only the right thing, and who is able and strong enough to do the right thing is truly a great man."- Wallace D. Wattles

Low Fat, High Protein Quiche

Ok, the fact that I'm tapping this post into my keyboard attests to the fact that I am, in fact, real. And since I get visual confirmation whenever I bathe (at least daily), I can also say with confidence that I am, indeed, a man.

So we can dispense with the silly cliche's right off the bat. Not only do real men eat quiche, they can make them too. It really couldn't be much more simple to prepare a versatile, healthful meal that can work for any meal or snack.

Here's how:

Get a couple of those frozen pie crusts from the supermarket, some nonfat milk, a dozen eggs and frozen mixed veggies. Preheat the oven to 375. Crack six eggs, tossing out four of the yolks and drop each into a bowl and mix with about a cup of milk. Meanwhile, defrost about a cup of the veggies in the microwave. Dump the defrosted veggies in the pie crust and then pour in the egg mixture until it's just below the ridge of the crust. Bake the whole thing for about 45 minutes, and then grate a little cheddar cheese on the top and put it back in the oven for five or 10 minutes (pie crust should be lightly browned and the egg mixture should be firm).

Take it out and give it a few minutes to cool, then enjoy!

Another tasty variation is frozen chopped spinach, sliced mushrooms and julienne cut sun dried tomatoes.

Good stuff.

The Healing Power of an Apology (for you)

Let's face it - We usually do things we later regret because at the time we were:

1. Angry

2. Afraid

3. Selfish

4. Some combination of the above

These are not behaviors that define us, unless we relentlessly cling to our justifications for the behavior, which are always distorted; from a limited or lopsided perspective. If you have hurt or been unkind to someone, and you know it, it's probably worthwhile to take a minute and ask yourself honestly if you may have felt one of the emotions listed there.

So what about the argument that apologizing might undermine your stand on an issue or problem that needs to be addressed, or that it somehow makes you a weak person?

The key is to apologize with the intention of healing yourself.

With this approach, you actually either become much clearer about both your reasons for your position (and then can act from a position of calm conviction instead of upset), or change your stand because your judgment is no longer clouded by fear, anger or defensiveness of selfish motives.

And what could be a greater example of strength than correcting your errors and serving as an example of someone who learns from his own mistakes?

Salads with Protein - Green for Your Lean Machine

Salads - rabbit food or power-packed nutrition? Well, both, actually. If you're trying to lose body fat while getting the most vitamins, minerals, fiber and protein you can in your last meal of the day, it's hard to argue with the salad.

But is a salad enough for you? It should be if you add a lean protein source and a little bit of fat.

Now, don't get confused about the difference between getting your blood sugar up quickly (which a soda or a plate of pasta will do beautifully) and getting enough nutrient-density, calories and food volume to satisfy you for the rest of the night. They're not the same things. Salad (especially with protein and fat) is a very low glycemic index (G.I.) meal that will take a while to address your hunger, but will hold you for a long time, provided you have enough. And it will do it with a lot more nutritional value than most other foods and at a much lower calorie count. That helps you reign in your calories for the day (making it easier to draw down your surplus - body fat) and get everything you need to recover optimally from your last workout at the same time.

Here are some easy variations (remember darker greens are more nutritious than pale varieties):

Butter leaf lettuce with sliced roast beef, cherry tomatoes and shredded carrots

Spinach salad with hard boiled egg (plus an additional white or two), peas, cranberries and Mandarin orange slices

Mixed baby greens with baked Teriyaki tofu, pecans and caramelized pear slices (put the pear slices in the toaster oven, brush with canola oil and sprinkle brown sugar and cinnamon)

Romain lettuce with Trader Joe's Cesar style "Just Chicken", a low fat Cesar dressing and shredded Parmesan cheese.

Fish like salmon and tuna is also great on salads. I sprinkle lemon juice and balsamic vinaigrette on drained canned tuna and then pile on the other produce for a colorful, delicious, healthy meal.


I also use a small amount of full-fat or low-fat dressing for flavor, rather than zero-fat dressings that sometimes have a bunch of additional sugar. I figure the meal on balance is still pretty low in fat, and I'm not trying to have a sub-10% fat diet. Neither should you.

If you mix it up and skip nights between salads, you'll enjoy them much more and keep them as a regular staple in your eating plan!

Do It For Yourself

It's not indulgent to take action on your own behalf. If you make a decision to act in your own best interest, whether it's for your physical, emotional or spiritual well-being, it's the right thing to do.

We can easily be distracted or confused by our urges to protect others or avoid difficult decisions that can rob us, them, or both of important growth opportunities. When I politely pass up cake or champagne at celebrations, I'm not trying to insult the host or make someone who partakes feel guilty. I just prefer to avoid the effects of alcohol and my body craves nutrients along with the calories.

I was meditating daily during a rough period in my marriage, and though my wife was struggling to understand it and not feel pushed away, I knew it was important to connect with a greater sense of peace and remind myself I had a higher purpose available to me.

Think about actions you have considered that you know, deep in your heart would be good for you. Are you waiting because you feel like someone else's feelings or needs are more important than yours?

Author Marianne Williamson writes that our greatest fear is not that we're powerless; it's that we are powerful beyond measure.

If you can allow for that possibility, you'll find that treating yourself well may be the best gift you can give to the ones you love most.

Keep Moving Up...

You have the best of intentions when you first walk into a gym or get on your brand new home treadmill or stationary bike for the first time. Hope springs eternal and with renewed resolve, you decide that THIS time you're actually going to make it happen - you're going to get lean and fit - for good.The only problem is that you probably don't know the formula to actually make that happen.

Sure, you know that eating more healthfully and doing cardio a few to several times a week should help you lose your gut, but that's very different than an actual plan with solid principles you know will work and around which you can structure a program.

One of the most important and most often ignored principles of a fitness program is this: Gradual, Consistent Progression (GCP)

There are three variables that can be adjusted in an exercise program:

1. Frequency (how often you exercise)

2. Duration (how long each exercise session is)

3. Intensity (how hard you're working)

The first two combine to determine the total number of hours per week you exercise. You can slice up three hours (about what I do) a number of ways - one three-hour session (not recommended), two 90-minute sessions, three 60-minutes sessions, four 45-minute sessions, six 30-minute sessions - it's all three hours total. So at some point, you have to start increasing your workload so that your relative challenge level goes up with your improving capacity. But that means you should also execute the activities as safely as possible and that your starting level of intensity, and your rate of increase has to be right for you. More on quality execution in future posts.

But for now, starting out at a challenging, but manageable level of intensity, and increasing that between 10-25% per month is a good range. That could mean walking a mile in 20 minutes one week and working toward getting it done in 18 minutes by the end of the month, and then do some stretching or light jogging in place with the extra two minutes. Or maybe you're able to do 12 push-ups against the kitchen counter on day one and 15 after four weeks.

The important thing is that you keep moving forward, slowly, and continually, until you reach the level you want to maintain.

When You're Feeling Down...

Several years ago I was going through a divorce and seeing a counselor to sort through some difficult issues. I had gotten married when I was 19 years old, so maybe that was reason enough for it not to work out. Still, it was very painful and threw my sense of self and, really, my whole world into a tailspin. During one of our sessions, he listened patiently and thoughtfully to me, paused, and then said:"Oh - you need to do things that make you proud of yourself!"

That was a major turning point for me. It led to, among other things, a new family, a career change and, incidentally, to the fact that you're reading my words right now.At the time, my only child was a seven year old son who thought I was awesome. Being a good dad to him was a no-brainer priority, but since I only had him half the time now, I had to figure out how to spend the rest of my time in ways that actually did make me feel proud of myself. Here are some of the things I did that year:

• Spent time reading and applying the lessons of spiritual/self-help books that interested me


• Formed friendships with new people who were going through similar tough times


• Dropped many of the judgements and blame I held toward others


• Wrote each of my parents long, personal letters (15-20 handwritten pages in separate journals) expressing my gratitude for their presence in my life and gave them as Christmas presents


• Wrote a personal mission statement to clarify my most deeply held values and to guide my daily thoughts and actions


• Re-established active relationships with extended family and close friends I'd lost touch with over the years


• Worked out most days every week
  

I love to work out, and I love the way I feel and look as a result. But if you've ever dealt with depression, you know that one of the symptoms is that you sometimes can't get enthusiastic about anything. And dragging yourself to the gym or even physically moving when you feel like doing nothing can feel like too much to handle.

Do it anyway.

Besides the mountain of research on both the short and long-term beneficial effects of exercise on mood and symptoms of depression, here are some other compelling reasons:

• Sometimes you need to start doing something positive (especially if the idea of it is intimidating) before you realize you're glad you're decided to do it.


• It will get you out of your head and focused on the present moment.


• Exercise is a great stress relief and a perfect avenue to direct the energy that builds up and makes you feel lighter, less burdened.


• Fitness is a self-perpetuating builder of not just your physical wellness, but also your self-esteem.


• The discipline required for regular workouts will give you a sense of structure around which to build other positive rituals.

Note: If you haven't been doing things that make you feel proud of yourself lately (or if you have been doing things that make you less than proud of yourself), don't waste time beating yourself up. Start with something positive and constructive today - no matter how simple or unglamorous. You may slip back. I've fallen more times than I can count. So what. We're human.

Start again.

And notice how you feel after each small step in the right direction.

Veggie Wraps

Ingredients:
• 1 package spinach, sun dried tomato or other flavored tortilla
• 2 tablespoons Trader Joe’s Tomato Basil hummus
• Fresh spinach leaves (stemmed)
• ¾ cup filling of choice (tuna with lemon juice and balsamic vinaigrette, marinated tofu, lunch meat)
• 1/4 cup peeled, shredded carrots (or 1/2 large carrot)

Dress tortillas with a thin layer of hummus and cover completely with a layer of stemmed spinach. Cover 2/3 of the open wraps with filling of choice and then grate carrot over the open wrap. Roll up and secure with toothpicks to cut into three equal portions. Makes a great appetizer, snack or even a light dinner!

What's Your Motivation?

Probably the most important thing to do before trying to implement any significant lifestyle change is to get clear on why you're doing it. Ask yourself sincerely:

"Why do I want this?"

And then answer the question bravely and honestly (sometimes bravery is a pre-condition of total honesty, I've learned slowly and often, the hard way.) You may even consider writing your motivations down. And here's a tip: If you're too lazy (or scared) to even write them down, you may not be ready to make any changes right now. So don't.

"What?" "Did he say 'don't'"? "Isn't that fitness sacrilege?"

Maybe, but here's why I'm saying it: People who think they want to make fundamental improvements in their health but aren't really ready for what the effort will require in terms of time, commitment and personal discipline, usually drop out of the process early and label themselves "failure." That's too bad. We don't call people who are halfway through law school and not yet ready to take the bar exam a failure. We don't label the 14-month old who teeters and falls in her first attempts to walk a failure. They're just not ready - yet. And maybe you're not either.

But I hope you are.

So, if, after looking at your reasons for doing this listed on that piece of paper, my first instruction is to cross out every negative one ("I'm too fat", "I don't want to slowly break down and die prematurely", etc.) They won't sustain you. But you know what will? A positive goal. Every long-term healthy lifestyle practitioner will tell you that no matter how they started, at a certain point they fell in love with the quality of life benefits that exercise and healthful eating provide. And that's what made them converts for life.

It's not so hard to come up with one or more positive motivations. You can even start with one of the negative motivations you already wrote down and abandoned. Just restate it in positive terms:

"I want to be strong and lean."

"I want to live a long time, have energy and stamina and I want to be able to do things my parents couldn't at the same age."

Now get going on that list.

Late Night Munchies..?

If your goal is to trim excess body fat, the point bears repeating (and emphasizing):

The closer you get to bed time, the fewer calories you should consume.

Why? It's just a simple equation of calories in versus calories out. As your metabolism slows, preparing for rest, you need fewer calories to get through the rest of the day, and you have less of an opportunity to burn off what you do ingest. So if you're going to need 700 calories between 6:00pm Tuesday and 6:00am Wedesday, and you want to lose a pound of fat this week, you'd better only get in 200 calories in that time frame. The trouble is that most people take in their single biggest chunk of calories in during this window of time. A major contributor for many is after-dinner snacks.

I'm targeting this topic today because, in my experience with hundreds of clients, this is one of the toughest habits for many people to break. So one way to minimize the impact of late-night snacking on the daily calorie equation is to keep the snacking to one of these three low calorie, high nutrient-density options:

1. Carrot sticks - this is a good choice if you're into the crunchy texture more than anything else. They're high in fiber and essential vitamins and minerals, and you literally cannot physically consume so many that you'll be making a serious dent in the calorie deficit you worked so hard to create earlier in the day.

2. A glass of non-fat milk - the perfect combination of easily digestable carbs (unless you're lactose intolerant) and highly bio-available protein, which will help to keep you satisfied longer than strictly carbs. Plus you get the bonus of healthy doses of calcium and vitamin D.

3. Frozen grapes - you have to try this if your weakness is a late-night sweet tooth. They're fun to pop in your mouth, taste delicious and you have to eat them more slowly when they're frozen, so it's harder to stuff yourself. Grapes are also rich in healthful anti-oxidants.

Try one of these great alternatives to cheetos or ice cream and you'll find that you can have your cake (well, maybe not cake!) and eat it too!

Not Guilty

Ok, I admit it - I ate like a pig last night. Well, that's not technically correct (not to mention unfair to the pig). While a pig eats fast and sloppy like he may never eat again, he rarely eats because he's bored, nervous, there's a lull in the conversation or well past the point of being satisfied simply to avoid being impolite to the host. At a holiday party, I did all that (and more.) I ate rich food. I ate sugary food. I ate a lot of it. And I ate late into the evening. A conservative estimate of my excess calories yesterday would be about 1,500 - 2,000. If I ate like that every day, I'd weigh about 330 pounds a year from now.

So now what? Am I a complete failure who should curl up in a hole somewhere because I went way over the top last night? Please! Give me a break! I'm going to give myself one. You know why? Because I don't eat that way every day. In fact, I stayed up late last night so I wouldn't get indigestion (but I still did), woke up this morning still full (I hate that - I love to be ready for breakfast first thing in the morning) and I know it's going to take about a week of extra vigilant clean & light eating days to break even. But that's okay, because I know it's an isolated situation and I know how to fix it. And I will. So no big deal.

Several of my past and current clients (and many of you reading, I'm sure) would be feeling very guilty about an over-indulgence like that right now. You'd feel bad about your lack of control or about letting yourself down. You might even feel a physical sensation of heaviness or a tightness in your gut and a sense of helplessness, sadness and disappointment in yourself. But what good would that do? In fact, it's the worst thing you could do. It lowers your self esteem and makes you feel even more a victim, it creates a negative association with being fallible (which is only human), and it makes it more likely that you'll just give up on your efforts to clean up your eating because, what the heck, you blew it last night anyway, right?

Worst of all, lingering guilt can obscure the learning opportunity that it initially presents, which is its only real value.

Guilt serves one very important purpose: to show you how you might do better in the future. If you are blaming yourself for slipping up, realize you did the best you could at the time, otherwise you would have done something else. So be gentle with yourself and look for the lesson. It's there, believe me, and you're more likely to find it sooner if you surrender the guilt first. And then you'll not only feel better, you'll know you've grown and then everyone one in your path will be just a little better off as a result, even if you can't see it.

I got up this morning and took two very grateful dogs for a walk they may not otherwise have gotten today if I hadn't overdone it last night. They felt much better after the walk, and so did I.

And then I got home and had a heck of a workout.