When You're Feeling Down...

Several years ago I was going through a divorce and seeing a counselor to sort through some difficult issues. I had gotten married when I was 19 years old, so maybe that was reason enough for it not to work out. Still, it was very painful and threw my sense of self and, really, my whole world into a tailspin. During one of our sessions, he listened patiently and thoughtfully to me, paused, and then said:"Oh - you need to do things that make you proud of yourself!"

That was a major turning point for me. It led to, among other things, a new family, a career change and, incidentally, to the fact that you're reading my words right now.At the time, my only child was a seven year old son who thought I was awesome. Being a good dad to him was a no-brainer priority, but since I only had him half the time now, I had to figure out how to spend the rest of my time in ways that actually did make me feel proud of myself. Here are some of the things I did that year:

• Spent time reading and applying the lessons of spiritual/self-help books that interested me


• Formed friendships with new people who were going through similar tough times


• Dropped many of the judgements and blame I held toward others


• Wrote each of my parents long, personal letters (15-20 handwritten pages in separate journals) expressing my gratitude for their presence in my life and gave them as Christmas presents


• Wrote a personal mission statement to clarify my most deeply held values and to guide my daily thoughts and actions


• Re-established active relationships with extended family and close friends I'd lost touch with over the years


• Worked out most days every week
  

I love to work out, and I love the way I feel and look as a result. But if you've ever dealt with depression, you know that one of the symptoms is that you sometimes can't get enthusiastic about anything. And dragging yourself to the gym or even physically moving when you feel like doing nothing can feel like too much to handle.

Do it anyway.

Besides the mountain of research on both the short and long-term beneficial effects of exercise on mood and symptoms of depression, here are some other compelling reasons:

• Sometimes you need to start doing something positive (especially if the idea of it is intimidating) before you realize you're glad you're decided to do it.


• It will get you out of your head and focused on the present moment.


• Exercise is a great stress relief and a perfect avenue to direct the energy that builds up and makes you feel lighter, less burdened.


• Fitness is a self-perpetuating builder of not just your physical wellness, but also your self-esteem.


• The discipline required for regular workouts will give you a sense of structure around which to build other positive rituals.

Note: If you haven't been doing things that make you feel proud of yourself lately (or if you have been doing things that make you less than proud of yourself), don't waste time beating yourself up. Start with something positive and constructive today - no matter how simple or unglamorous. You may slip back. I've fallen more times than I can count. So what. We're human.

Start again.

And notice how you feel after each small step in the right direction.