Another "Well" to Be

I'm a big fan of word play - especially double entendres. My dad was a shameless pun maker, so I guess every generation does just a little bit better. Or not.

Anyway, I was thinking about the word "well" in it's traditional sense, which is ambiguous enough. But then it occurred to me that what many of us sometimes forget is that we have vast reserves of strength, energy, stillness, or whatever you consider critical elements of wellness. How do I know that? Because every aspect of wellness provides with it growth capacity. Muscle power, stamina, flexibility, vitality, emotional well-being, you name it - it can be improved upon. So, in a sense, we have a deep well of wellness available to us.

And the irony is that the best way to tap into that well, is through struggle or challenge. Any test of your capacity is bound to provide the most efficient route to expanding that capacity. Want to deal better with death? Help someone through the final stages of their life. Want to learn patience? Try child-rearing. Want to transcend the sense of being owned by your job? Start your own business. Want to learn how to be a better partner in a relationship? Be the best person you can be and accept the other person for who they are.

How many times can you go to the well?

How high can you count?

Much Respect (for yourself and others)

Maybe there are a few perks to getting older.

I had a conversation with someone today that was not, I suspect one either of us was particularly looking forward to. And I'm not sure either of us ended the conversation feeling like we got much accomplished other than a slightly better understanding of each others' position, and, in turn, how different they were. Certainly neither of us convinced the other of the wisdom of seeing it "our" way. And at times, the exchanges were a little tense, even bordering on adversarial.

But I walked away from it with a pretty good feeling. Here's why:

1. It wasn't really important that either of us was "right".

2. We needed to clarify our intentions going forward to determine what our arrangement would be in the future, and we did that.

3. What might have become an unnecessarily terse discussion, perhaps escalating to a level that we'd want to permanently end our association never happened.

4. I think we both walked away from it feeling proud of ourselves about how we each handled it.

So that's pretty good. I don't know that preserving dignity and respect for the other (and ultimately, myself, since we're all connected) would have been my primary concern five years ago, or even two. Even if it was, I don't think I would have had the discipline to make sure that happened. Releasing the ego-driven defensive urges as they surfaced was surprisingly easy once I made the commitment in my mind to do that.

As a result, I think I'll sleep a little better tonight than I might have if I'd handled it differently.

And you know, as we get older, a good night's sleep is all the more important.

I Love Veggies (but maybe you don't...)

This morning I stumbled across a great set of suggestions for those who aren't the biggest fans of the most underrated food group. I practice many of these little tricks and have recommended others like eating raw veggies with hummus or dumping extra frozen veggies into canned soups to my clients. But this may be the most comprehensive list of creative ideas for working the vitamin, mineral and fiber packed powerhouses into your menu:

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/eat-your-vegetables-15-tips-for-veggie-haters

Stretching and Warming Up Are Different

Have you ever watched an athlete bounce through a pre-event stretch series and then stop suddenly and reposition as if they had tweaked a nagging injury?

Some clients I work with remind me that there are still some very pervasive and stubborn fitness myths circulating out there. One is that stretching and warming up are (or can be) considered the same thing. They aren't and they can't. Why? They are two entirely different processes, and they accomplish different things.

Stretching is meant to elongate and keep supple the muscle-tendon chain. Tendons attach muscles to bones and are more rigid than the tissue they anchor. They need more deliberate, controlled and consistent loads to become lengthened and more pliable (significantly diminishing their own, and the muscles' risk of injury.)

That's where warming up comes in - before the stretching.

Warming up is characterized by large, flowing movements, progressively increasing heart rate, deeper more rapid breathing, increasing body core temperature and more loose, fluid range of motion at the joints. It's basically an aerobic activity that starts out light and slowly moves to moderate intensity that can last a few to several minutes. That's the best way to prepare the body for more aggressive loads and motion coming up later.

The absolute best time to stretch is at the tail end of a workout, although stretching intermittently during the workout (or after each set with strength training) is great in addition to (but not as a substitute for) the end-of-the-workout stretch.

Remember that the best way to warm up is to actually heat up your body with cardio. And the best way to stretch is when your muscles and connective tissue, like taffy at the boardwalk, are already warm.

Releasing Our Attachment to Outcome

The first year or two I was in business was enlightening, but also frustrating and, at times, more than a little disappointing. After investing emotionally in the naive idea that I could convert nearly all my clients to fit, lean, wellness-minded faithful, I was often slapped with a cold reality:

My clients were only as successful as their level of commitment to our stated objective, the degree to which they embraced the principles I taught them and their willingness to comply with the actions I recommended that embodied those principles. And then I finally realized that it wasn't just naive of me to expect that of them, it was downright arrogant!

Who was I to expect that in one to three hours a week I could completely reprogram their basic philosophy and retool many of their daily habits if they weren't already interested in a dramatic lifestyle change? Foolish mortal!

As time has passed, I have learned that those who benefit the most from what I try to offer are those who are truly ready and committed at a deep level to undergoing a fundamental change. Athletes are usually tremendously open and effective students, but many former couch potatoes who are just darned good and ready for a dramatic improvement in their wellness and body condition often astound me as well with their determination and corresponding success (see the home page of my training website for a married couple who are poster children for these invaluable qualities: http://www.trivalleytrainer.com/ )

I currently have two clients who, I know, if they could just see their future possibilities as clearly as I do (both with and without a full commitment to fitness and healthful eating), the stark contrast between their current respective situations and their potential would create a defining moment of permanent transition. And their resulting successes would not only improve their chances to be in their loved ones' lives for decades to come, but they would also serve as a more inspiring figures than I could ever hope to represent.

But my job is not to fantasize, but to keep the faith. Not to preach, but to persist. Not to take their level of participation personally, but to give everything I have to the process and know that's enough.

I started this blog hoping to help many more people than I can have personal contact with on a daily basis, and many of you have written to me to let me know I have. Many of my current and past clients have done the same. I am deeply grateful for that.

So, perhaps we should all know that what we bring to a situation is much more important than what comes of it, and leave the rest in God's hands, where it belongs.

Three Day's at TJ's

Dedicated fitness enthusiasts, especially those who work hard to maintain optimal performance in the gym (on the field, the court) while maintaining a lean body, know that there is no more important element in the equation than the right "fuel". That's how I feel.

If I had to choose one place to shop for food for the rest of my life, it would have to be Trader Joe's. Why? Because they have a wide variety of delicious, nutrient-rich foods to choose from and because it's very reasonably priced.So, to give you an idea of how I might shop for a few days' worth of meals and snacks, I put together a quick menu below. It focuses on the maximum volume, variety and balance of vitamins, minerals, fiber, protein, and last, but certainly not least, taste.

Day 1

Breakfast, 7:00AM:Egg scramble (one yolk and three whites) with frozen chopped spinach and sun-dried tomatoes topped with crumbled Feta cheese

Mid-AM Snack, 9:45AM:

Pocket salad (snap peas, baby carrots and grape tomatoes)Lunch, Noon:Wrap with honey roasted sliced turkey, mixed baby greens, grated carrots and tomato basil hummus

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:30PM:

Smoothie with TJs 2% Greek yogurt, 1/2 frozen banana, frozen blackberries and mangoes and non-fat milk

Dinner, 6:00pm:Grilled Buffalo Burger on 1/2 whole wheat bun with tomato and greens

Day 2

Breakfast, 6:45AM:

Kashi Go-Lean Cereal topped w/mixed nut and fruit trail mix in non-fat milk

Mid-AM Snack, 9:30AM:

Raw broccoli and cauliflower dipped in Mediterranean hummus

Lunch, 12:15PM:

Home made pasta salad with whole wheat Rotini, frozen chopped spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, Ceasar variety "Just Chicken" and Balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:30PM:

Granny Smith apple and a cheddar cheese stick

Dinner, 6:15pm:

Spinach Pie

Day 3

Breakfast, 7:15AM:

Kashi Go-Lean Cereal topped w/mixed nut and fruit trail mix in non-fat milk

Mid-AM Snack, 10:00AM:

Leftover Spinach Pie

Lunch, Noon:

TJ's California Roll sushi and seaweed salad

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:45PM:

Bartlet pear and crunchy soy nut butter

Dinner, 6:00pm:

Home made veggie soup (base is 1/2 veggie broth; 1/2 roasted garlic pasta sauce; add frozen chopped spinach, frozen mixed veggies and chicken mango sausage)

A "Well" of Friendship

Since I started this website (TriValleyWellness.com), I've been amazed at the wonderful people I've met who share my vision of creating a robust and growing true wellness community. I define a community as a group of people with shared interests or values, who look out for each other and want to help each other realize their potential and serve a greater purpose.

But developing the website and the supporting resources has also allowed me to reconnect and expand relationships I've had for some time as well. Today I had lunch with a terrific guy I met several years ago when we were involved in a non-profit organization that never got off the ground, although we've stayed in touch over the years. His history is not that different from mine - he was in the corporate world for a long time before deciding to start his own business. That prompted him to open the Fleet Feet Sports store in Pleasanton. After a successful run (no pun intended) he started a race event timing and management company and now handles over 50 events a year, primarily in the SF bay area. His success is a testament to his passion, his brains, his work ethic and his extraordinary ability to build and maintain relationships.

If there's one aspect of wellness that doesn't get the attention it deserves, it's the importance of building strong, healthy relationships. If you are committed to a life of purpose and vitality, there are few more important areas to address in your life.

Everything of any real meaning begins here. So think about someone you haven't seen in a while who you might be able to help out today, just to make their life a little bit easier or more rewarding, or perhaps just to brighten up their day.

The real winner will be you.

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Mark Aiton is the principal and founder of "On Your Mark Events". Check out his website (and participate in one of his events!) at: http://www.onyourmarkevents.com/