Another "Well" to Be

I'm a big fan of word play - especially double entendres. My dad was a shameless pun maker, so I guess every generation does just a little bit better. Or not.

Anyway, I was thinking about the word "well" in it's traditional sense, which is ambiguous enough. But then it occurred to me that what many of us sometimes forget is that we have vast reserves of strength, energy, stillness, or whatever you consider critical elements of wellness. How do I know that? Because every aspect of wellness provides with it growth capacity. Muscle power, stamina, flexibility, vitality, emotional well-being, you name it - it can be improved upon. So, in a sense, we have a deep well of wellness available to us.

And the irony is that the best way to tap into that well, is through struggle or challenge. Any test of your capacity is bound to provide the most efficient route to expanding that capacity. Want to deal better with death? Help someone through the final stages of their life. Want to learn patience? Try child-rearing. Want to transcend the sense of being owned by your job? Start your own business. Want to learn how to be a better partner in a relationship? Be the best person you can be and accept the other person for who they are.

How many times can you go to the well?

How high can you count?

Much Respect (for yourself and others)

Maybe there are a few perks to getting older.

I had a conversation with someone today that was not, I suspect one either of us was particularly looking forward to. And I'm not sure either of us ended the conversation feeling like we got much accomplished other than a slightly better understanding of each others' position, and, in turn, how different they were. Certainly neither of us convinced the other of the wisdom of seeing it "our" way. And at times, the exchanges were a little tense, even bordering on adversarial.

But I walked away from it with a pretty good feeling. Here's why:

1. It wasn't really important that either of us was "right".

2. We needed to clarify our intentions going forward to determine what our arrangement would be in the future, and we did that.

3. What might have become an unnecessarily terse discussion, perhaps escalating to a level that we'd want to permanently end our association never happened.

4. I think we both walked away from it feeling proud of ourselves about how we each handled it.

So that's pretty good. I don't know that preserving dignity and respect for the other (and ultimately, myself, since we're all connected) would have been my primary concern five years ago, or even two. Even if it was, I don't think I would have had the discipline to make sure that happened. Releasing the ego-driven defensive urges as they surfaced was surprisingly easy once I made the commitment in my mind to do that.

As a result, I think I'll sleep a little better tonight than I might have if I'd handled it differently.

And you know, as we get older, a good night's sleep is all the more important.

I Love Veggies (but maybe you don't...)

This morning I stumbled across a great set of suggestions for those who aren't the biggest fans of the most underrated food group. I practice many of these little tricks and have recommended others like eating raw veggies with hummus or dumping extra frozen veggies into canned soups to my clients. But this may be the most comprehensive list of creative ideas for working the vitamin, mineral and fiber packed powerhouses into your menu:

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/eat-your-vegetables-15-tips-for-veggie-haters

Stretching and Warming Up Are Different

Have you ever watched an athlete bounce through a pre-event stretch series and then stop suddenly and reposition as if they had tweaked a nagging injury?

Some clients I work with remind me that there are still some very pervasive and stubborn fitness myths circulating out there. One is that stretching and warming up are (or can be) considered the same thing. They aren't and they can't. Why? They are two entirely different processes, and they accomplish different things.

Stretching is meant to elongate and keep supple the muscle-tendon chain. Tendons attach muscles to bones and are more rigid than the tissue they anchor. They need more deliberate, controlled and consistent loads to become lengthened and more pliable (significantly diminishing their own, and the muscles' risk of injury.)

That's where warming up comes in - before the stretching.

Warming up is characterized by large, flowing movements, progressively increasing heart rate, deeper more rapid breathing, increasing body core temperature and more loose, fluid range of motion at the joints. It's basically an aerobic activity that starts out light and slowly moves to moderate intensity that can last a few to several minutes. That's the best way to prepare the body for more aggressive loads and motion coming up later.

The absolute best time to stretch is at the tail end of a workout, although stretching intermittently during the workout (or after each set with strength training) is great in addition to (but not as a substitute for) the end-of-the-workout stretch.

Remember that the best way to warm up is to actually heat up your body with cardio. And the best way to stretch is when your muscles and connective tissue, like taffy at the boardwalk, are already warm.

Releasing Our Attachment to Outcome

The first year or two I was in business was enlightening, but also frustrating and, at times, more than a little disappointing. After investing emotionally in the naive idea that I could convert nearly all my clients to fit, lean, wellness-minded faithful, I was often slapped with a cold reality:

My clients were only as successful as their level of commitment to our stated objective, the degree to which they embraced the principles I taught them and their willingness to comply with the actions I recommended that embodied those principles. And then I finally realized that it wasn't just naive of me to expect that of them, it was downright arrogant!

Who was I to expect that in one to three hours a week I could completely reprogram their basic philosophy and retool many of their daily habits if they weren't already interested in a dramatic lifestyle change? Foolish mortal!

As time has passed, I have learned that those who benefit the most from what I try to offer are those who are truly ready and committed at a deep level to undergoing a fundamental change. Athletes are usually tremendously open and effective students, but many former couch potatoes who are just darned good and ready for a dramatic improvement in their wellness and body condition often astound me as well with their determination and corresponding success (see the home page of my training website for a married couple who are poster children for these invaluable qualities: http://www.trivalleytrainer.com/ )

I currently have two clients who, I know, if they could just see their future possibilities as clearly as I do (both with and without a full commitment to fitness and healthful eating), the stark contrast between their current respective situations and their potential would create a defining moment of permanent transition. And their resulting successes would not only improve their chances to be in their loved ones' lives for decades to come, but they would also serve as a more inspiring figures than I could ever hope to represent.

But my job is not to fantasize, but to keep the faith. Not to preach, but to persist. Not to take their level of participation personally, but to give everything I have to the process and know that's enough.

I started this blog hoping to help many more people than I can have personal contact with on a daily basis, and many of you have written to me to let me know I have. Many of my current and past clients have done the same. I am deeply grateful for that.

So, perhaps we should all know that what we bring to a situation is much more important than what comes of it, and leave the rest in God's hands, where it belongs.

Three Day's at TJ's

Dedicated fitness enthusiasts, especially those who work hard to maintain optimal performance in the gym (on the field, the court) while maintaining a lean body, know that there is no more important element in the equation than the right "fuel". That's how I feel.

If I had to choose one place to shop for food for the rest of my life, it would have to be Trader Joe's. Why? Because they have a wide variety of delicious, nutrient-rich foods to choose from and because it's very reasonably priced.So, to give you an idea of how I might shop for a few days' worth of meals and snacks, I put together a quick menu below. It focuses on the maximum volume, variety and balance of vitamins, minerals, fiber, protein, and last, but certainly not least, taste.

Day 1

Breakfast, 7:00AM:Egg scramble (one yolk and three whites) with frozen chopped spinach and sun-dried tomatoes topped with crumbled Feta cheese

Mid-AM Snack, 9:45AM:

Pocket salad (snap peas, baby carrots and grape tomatoes)Lunch, Noon:Wrap with honey roasted sliced turkey, mixed baby greens, grated carrots and tomato basil hummus

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:30PM:

Smoothie with TJs 2% Greek yogurt, 1/2 frozen banana, frozen blackberries and mangoes and non-fat milk

Dinner, 6:00pm:Grilled Buffalo Burger on 1/2 whole wheat bun with tomato and greens

Day 2

Breakfast, 6:45AM:

Kashi Go-Lean Cereal topped w/mixed nut and fruit trail mix in non-fat milk

Mid-AM Snack, 9:30AM:

Raw broccoli and cauliflower dipped in Mediterranean hummus

Lunch, 12:15PM:

Home made pasta salad with whole wheat Rotini, frozen chopped spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, Ceasar variety "Just Chicken" and Balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:30PM:

Granny Smith apple and a cheddar cheese stick

Dinner, 6:15pm:

Spinach Pie

Day 3

Breakfast, 7:15AM:

Kashi Go-Lean Cereal topped w/mixed nut and fruit trail mix in non-fat milk

Mid-AM Snack, 10:00AM:

Leftover Spinach Pie

Lunch, Noon:

TJ's California Roll sushi and seaweed salad

Mid-Afternoon Snack, 3:45PM:

Bartlet pear and crunchy soy nut butter

Dinner, 6:00pm:

Home made veggie soup (base is 1/2 veggie broth; 1/2 roasted garlic pasta sauce; add frozen chopped spinach, frozen mixed veggies and chicken mango sausage)

A "Well" of Friendship

Since I started this website (TriValleyWellness.com), I've been amazed at the wonderful people I've met who share my vision of creating a robust and growing true wellness community. I define a community as a group of people with shared interests or values, who look out for each other and want to help each other realize their potential and serve a greater purpose.

But developing the website and the supporting resources has also allowed me to reconnect and expand relationships I've had for some time as well. Today I had lunch with a terrific guy I met several years ago when we were involved in a non-profit organization that never got off the ground, although we've stayed in touch over the years. His history is not that different from mine - he was in the corporate world for a long time before deciding to start his own business. That prompted him to open the Fleet Feet Sports store in Pleasanton. After a successful run (no pun intended) he started a race event timing and management company and now handles over 50 events a year, primarily in the SF bay area. His success is a testament to his passion, his brains, his work ethic and his extraordinary ability to build and maintain relationships.

If there's one aspect of wellness that doesn't get the attention it deserves, it's the importance of building strong, healthy relationships. If you are committed to a life of purpose and vitality, there are few more important areas to address in your life.

Everything of any real meaning begins here. So think about someone you haven't seen in a while who you might be able to help out today, just to make their life a little bit easier or more rewarding, or perhaps just to brighten up their day.

The real winner will be you.

* * * * * * * * * *

Mark Aiton is the principal and founder of "On Your Mark Events". Check out his website (and participate in one of his events!) at: http://www.onyourmarkevents.com/

A Time for Faith

Often we start an exercise and healthful eating program (or any difficult or scary endeavor - especially life-changing ones) with the best intentions, hoping that it will get easier as we move further into it. We have an intrinsic sense that it's the right thing for us, and so, once we begin, it should become easier and more natural.

Then it gets really hard.

Soon, our conviction begins to waver, we start to rationalize with ourselves that we may not really be that convinced what we're doing is worth the effort, time and discomfort, or maybe even that it's necessary at all.

That's when faith is most important.

Every false start in your life was an important message that you weren't ready yet. But if you know deep within yourself that you deserve to feel better, be stronger, more resilient and have a better quality of life, you'll keep trying, again and again. At some point you need to take a leap of faith. No significant growth comes without risk or discomfort. Changing your lifestyle dramatically can be very intimidating. You're challenging yourself to give up your identification with everything that no longer works for you, but is oh so familiar. And in that familiarity is a comfort.

But ask yourself if that comfort helps you to be true to yourself - your best self.

When you are ready to ask yourself that question, sincerely and with courage, you'll find that faith. It might be just a spark, but it will be enough.

The time for faith is when you need it the most. And only you can give that to yourself. There is no greater gift.

Remain Calm

This morning I returned home from my folks' house with my wife and two younger kids (8 and 4), after staying over night there. We had decided to drive up (a little over three hours) to surprise my mother on her birthday. She was thrilled and we all had a great time, but she wasn't the only one in for a surprise.

We had asked my 19 year old, who is generally very responsible and a great influence on his younger sibs, to feed the dogs and keep an eye on the house. When we returned, our house looked like it had hosted a small frat party. There were beer cans stacked on the counter and it smelled something like a field had been burned, but not exactly like that.

I was not a happy camper.

As my little ones headed straight for their rooms and we gave my son and his friends a chance to express clean (and my wife had a surprisingly restrained but clear and penetrating conversation with him), I went to the store to get some scented candles. This was as much to cool down as to get the smell out of the house.

By the time I returned, he was having a tearful (both of them) and deeply apologetic conversation with my younger son (who, by the way busted him when my wife told him "people make mistakes" and he, quite properly corrected her with "It's not a mistake if he did it on purpose." She corrected her statement telling him that people make bad choices and then have the obligation to correct the effects of those choices.)

I had clients to work with and then band practice scheduled. By the time I was done, I had not only gotten some perspective, but I saw that he had done all that he could to repair the damage with the rest of the family, especially my younger son.

We are still going to have a conversation about this later.

But I'm glad I didn't have it right away. We're both better off (as is the relationship) because I had the opportunity to remain calm before speaking, and because I did.

And so is my blood pressure.

Your Body Loves You (Do You Love it Back?)

Here's a quick test to see if you have body image issues:

Do you have a body?

If you answered yes, chances are you share the practically universal condition of having some form of frustration, anxiety or disappointment about the stuff inside your skin. But here's the weird part - if nearly everybody does have some issue with their body, and the problems all stem from some unfavorable comparison to other people's bodies, who wins?

Even though it may seem irrational when it's laid out like that, it's a hard concept to release. And then we often compound the problem by taking the functions of the body (which are vastly more important than what it looks like) for granted, and ignoring the body's need to be used and taken care of. We always think it will be around when we get to it. It may be, but it won't always be in the "ready-to-roll" state we expect it to be as the years pass unnoticed.

So why am I talking about this?

I don't just want you to eat better and exercise for a few days or weeks. I want you to WANT to do it, and for the right reasons. Then you'll do it for the rest of your life. Your body will help make your life so much better if you spend a little time thinking about (and acting on) it's needs. And if you do, you'll look great too - what a deal!

Don't you think it's time to stop being frustrated with your body? You're not mad at the dog for getting mangy if you never bath or brush him, right? We don't curse the grass for continuing to grow if we're forget to cut it for a few weeks, do we?

Think about the body of a dancer, a surfer or a gymnast. They don't do the work to have great looking physiques. They do the work because they know how the body can perform with the right treatment. But they look awesome too!

A little bit of that attitude goes a long way in creating a new body that you're truly going to love. And it will love you back by delivering the goods.

Aren't you excited about what you're both going to accomplish together?

Drink Water Before (but not during) Meals

One of the best things you can do to both minimize overeating and make sure you're properly hydrated (critical for optimal fat burning) is to stop drinking caloric beverages during your meals. Instead, start drinking a full glass of water immediately before the meal.

Why drop the with-meal beverages? Because your body produces saliva in the exact right amount and the exact right speed based on whatever your current hydration level is. That assures that we take the time we need to get the food down and get to the next bite. But we're smarter than our bodies, right? Not to mention busier. Who has time to take small bites and wait between bites for each previous one to make it into our stomachs gracefully? Isn't it a much better solution to "cannonball" those big bites and gobble up as much food as possible before your body has a chance to register a sense of fullness?

And wouldn't it be ideal if you could wash those calories down quickly with a beverage that has some additional calories of its own? That way, a 400-500 calorie meal that might otherwise take 20 minutes to eat could be more like 700 or 800 calories (or more) and we could have it out of our way in about seven or eight minutes.

Hmm, wait a second...

In our increasingly more, better, faster society, sometimes it's a mark of progress. Sometimes not so much.

A glass of water BEFORE the meal will do just the opposite, helping you slow down the speed of your ingestion and feel full earlier. Follow this simple rule and you'll not only start getting leaner, but you'll feel better throughout the night.

A Matter of Perspective

If you had an appointment scheduled with a friend, or even a stranger, you would do everything within reason to keep it, wouldn't you? And you would be at least irritated, if not down right angry, if they didn't bother to show.


So why do you plan to work out or eat "clean" one day and then just blow it off? Aren't you worthy of your own respect?



And what if you could do something to help someone else live with more energy and vitality, perhaps even lengthening their life, but certainly enhancing the quality of it? How about a loved one, a friend or even someone you never met. You would do it, right?



What makes you less deserving of this commitment and effort?



*************************************************
"Wisdom is the power to perceive the best ends to aim for and the best means for reaching those ends. It is the power to perceive the right thing to do. The man who is strong enough to know the right thing to do, who is good enough to do only the right thing, and who is able and strong enough to do the right thing is truly a great man."- Wallace D. Wattles

Low Fat, High Protein Quiche

Ok, the fact that I'm tapping this post into my keyboard attests to the fact that I am, in fact, real. And since I get visual confirmation whenever I bathe (at least daily), I can also say with confidence that I am, indeed, a man.

So we can dispense with the silly cliche's right off the bat. Not only do real men eat quiche, they can make them too. It really couldn't be much more simple to prepare a versatile, healthful meal that can work for any meal or snack.

Here's how:

Get a couple of those frozen pie crusts from the supermarket, some nonfat milk, a dozen eggs and frozen mixed veggies. Preheat the oven to 375. Crack six eggs, tossing out four of the yolks and drop each into a bowl and mix with about a cup of milk. Meanwhile, defrost about a cup of the veggies in the microwave. Dump the defrosted veggies in the pie crust and then pour in the egg mixture until it's just below the ridge of the crust. Bake the whole thing for about 45 minutes, and then grate a little cheddar cheese on the top and put it back in the oven for five or 10 minutes (pie crust should be lightly browned and the egg mixture should be firm).

Take it out and give it a few minutes to cool, then enjoy!

Another tasty variation is frozen chopped spinach, sliced mushrooms and julienne cut sun dried tomatoes.

Good stuff.

The Healing Power of an Apology (for you)

Let's face it - We usually do things we later regret because at the time we were:

1. Angry

2. Afraid

3. Selfish

4. Some combination of the above

These are not behaviors that define us, unless we relentlessly cling to our justifications for the behavior, which are always distorted; from a limited or lopsided perspective. If you have hurt or been unkind to someone, and you know it, it's probably worthwhile to take a minute and ask yourself honestly if you may have felt one of the emotions listed there.

So what about the argument that apologizing might undermine your stand on an issue or problem that needs to be addressed, or that it somehow makes you a weak person?

The key is to apologize with the intention of healing yourself.

With this approach, you actually either become much clearer about both your reasons for your position (and then can act from a position of calm conviction instead of upset), or change your stand because your judgment is no longer clouded by fear, anger or defensiveness of selfish motives.

And what could be a greater example of strength than correcting your errors and serving as an example of someone who learns from his own mistakes?

Salads with Protein - Green for Your Lean Machine

Salads - rabbit food or power-packed nutrition? Well, both, actually. If you're trying to lose body fat while getting the most vitamins, minerals, fiber and protein you can in your last meal of the day, it's hard to argue with the salad.

But is a salad enough for you? It should be if you add a lean protein source and a little bit of fat.

Now, don't get confused about the difference between getting your blood sugar up quickly (which a soda or a plate of pasta will do beautifully) and getting enough nutrient-density, calories and food volume to satisfy you for the rest of the night. They're not the same things. Salad (especially with protein and fat) is a very low glycemic index (G.I.) meal that will take a while to address your hunger, but will hold you for a long time, provided you have enough. And it will do it with a lot more nutritional value than most other foods and at a much lower calorie count. That helps you reign in your calories for the day (making it easier to draw down your surplus - body fat) and get everything you need to recover optimally from your last workout at the same time.

Here are some easy variations (remember darker greens are more nutritious than pale varieties):

Butter leaf lettuce with sliced roast beef, cherry tomatoes and shredded carrots

Spinach salad with hard boiled egg (plus an additional white or two), peas, cranberries and Mandarin orange slices

Mixed baby greens with baked Teriyaki tofu, pecans and caramelized pear slices (put the pear slices in the toaster oven, brush with canola oil and sprinkle brown sugar and cinnamon)

Romain lettuce with Trader Joe's Cesar style "Just Chicken", a low fat Cesar dressing and shredded Parmesan cheese.

Fish like salmon and tuna is also great on salads. I sprinkle lemon juice and balsamic vinaigrette on drained canned tuna and then pile on the other produce for a colorful, delicious, healthy meal.


I also use a small amount of full-fat or low-fat dressing for flavor, rather than zero-fat dressings that sometimes have a bunch of additional sugar. I figure the meal on balance is still pretty low in fat, and I'm not trying to have a sub-10% fat diet. Neither should you.

If you mix it up and skip nights between salads, you'll enjoy them much more and keep them as a regular staple in your eating plan!

Do It For Yourself

It's not indulgent to take action on your own behalf. If you make a decision to act in your own best interest, whether it's for your physical, emotional or spiritual well-being, it's the right thing to do.

We can easily be distracted or confused by our urges to protect others or avoid difficult decisions that can rob us, them, or both of important growth opportunities. When I politely pass up cake or champagne at celebrations, I'm not trying to insult the host or make someone who partakes feel guilty. I just prefer to avoid the effects of alcohol and my body craves nutrients along with the calories.

I was meditating daily during a rough period in my marriage, and though my wife was struggling to understand it and not feel pushed away, I knew it was important to connect with a greater sense of peace and remind myself I had a higher purpose available to me.

Think about actions you have considered that you know, deep in your heart would be good for you. Are you waiting because you feel like someone else's feelings or needs are more important than yours?

Author Marianne Williamson writes that our greatest fear is not that we're powerless; it's that we are powerful beyond measure.

If you can allow for that possibility, you'll find that treating yourself well may be the best gift you can give to the ones you love most.

Keep Moving Up...

You have the best of intentions when you first walk into a gym or get on your brand new home treadmill or stationary bike for the first time. Hope springs eternal and with renewed resolve, you decide that THIS time you're actually going to make it happen - you're going to get lean and fit - for good.The only problem is that you probably don't know the formula to actually make that happen.

Sure, you know that eating more healthfully and doing cardio a few to several times a week should help you lose your gut, but that's very different than an actual plan with solid principles you know will work and around which you can structure a program.

One of the most important and most often ignored principles of a fitness program is this: Gradual, Consistent Progression (GCP)

There are three variables that can be adjusted in an exercise program:

1. Frequency (how often you exercise)

2. Duration (how long each exercise session is)

3. Intensity (how hard you're working)

The first two combine to determine the total number of hours per week you exercise. You can slice up three hours (about what I do) a number of ways - one three-hour session (not recommended), two 90-minute sessions, three 60-minutes sessions, four 45-minute sessions, six 30-minute sessions - it's all three hours total. So at some point, you have to start increasing your workload so that your relative challenge level goes up with your improving capacity. But that means you should also execute the activities as safely as possible and that your starting level of intensity, and your rate of increase has to be right for you. More on quality execution in future posts.

But for now, starting out at a challenging, but manageable level of intensity, and increasing that between 10-25% per month is a good range. That could mean walking a mile in 20 minutes one week and working toward getting it done in 18 minutes by the end of the month, and then do some stretching or light jogging in place with the extra two minutes. Or maybe you're able to do 12 push-ups against the kitchen counter on day one and 15 after four weeks.

The important thing is that you keep moving forward, slowly, and continually, until you reach the level you want to maintain.

When You're Feeling Down...

Several years ago I was going through a divorce and seeing a counselor to sort through some difficult issues. I had gotten married when I was 19 years old, so maybe that was reason enough for it not to work out. Still, it was very painful and threw my sense of self and, really, my whole world into a tailspin. During one of our sessions, he listened patiently and thoughtfully to me, paused, and then said:"Oh - you need to do things that make you proud of yourself!"

That was a major turning point for me. It led to, among other things, a new family, a career change and, incidentally, to the fact that you're reading my words right now.At the time, my only child was a seven year old son who thought I was awesome. Being a good dad to him was a no-brainer priority, but since I only had him half the time now, I had to figure out how to spend the rest of my time in ways that actually did make me feel proud of myself. Here are some of the things I did that year:

• Spent time reading and applying the lessons of spiritual/self-help books that interested me


• Formed friendships with new people who were going through similar tough times


• Dropped many of the judgements and blame I held toward others


• Wrote each of my parents long, personal letters (15-20 handwritten pages in separate journals) expressing my gratitude for their presence in my life and gave them as Christmas presents


• Wrote a personal mission statement to clarify my most deeply held values and to guide my daily thoughts and actions


• Re-established active relationships with extended family and close friends I'd lost touch with over the years


• Worked out most days every week
  

I love to work out, and I love the way I feel and look as a result. But if you've ever dealt with depression, you know that one of the symptoms is that you sometimes can't get enthusiastic about anything. And dragging yourself to the gym or even physically moving when you feel like doing nothing can feel like too much to handle.

Do it anyway.

Besides the mountain of research on both the short and long-term beneficial effects of exercise on mood and symptoms of depression, here are some other compelling reasons:

• Sometimes you need to start doing something positive (especially if the idea of it is intimidating) before you realize you're glad you're decided to do it.


• It will get you out of your head and focused on the present moment.


• Exercise is a great stress relief and a perfect avenue to direct the energy that builds up and makes you feel lighter, less burdened.


• Fitness is a self-perpetuating builder of not just your physical wellness, but also your self-esteem.


• The discipline required for regular workouts will give you a sense of structure around which to build other positive rituals.

Note: If you haven't been doing things that make you feel proud of yourself lately (or if you have been doing things that make you less than proud of yourself), don't waste time beating yourself up. Start with something positive and constructive today - no matter how simple or unglamorous. You may slip back. I've fallen more times than I can count. So what. We're human.

Start again.

And notice how you feel after each small step in the right direction.